The "Alpha Males" Think They're Unleashed! Good Fucking Luck With That, Assholes

Yup! Time for another hard lesson for the knuckledragging dudebros.

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I swear to fucking god, it never ceases to amaze me how stupid toxic masculinity makes you. Maybe it’s the steroids. Maybe it’s the testosterone injections. Maybe it’s being kicked in the balls by angry women too many times in high school. Who can really say? But clearly, subscribing to the whole alpha male dudebro he-man women hater’s club thing makes you a fucking moron.

How else can you explain this dick-wagging idiocy?

Bankers and financiers told the Financial Times that Donald Trump’s victory has emboldened those who chafed at “woke doctrine” and felt they had to self-censor or change their language to avoid offending younger colleagues, women, minorities or disabled people.

Said one banker: “I feel liberated. We can say ‘retard’ and ‘pussy’ without the fear of getting [sic] cancelled… it’s a new dawn.”

“Some Wall Streeters also feel able to embrace making money openly, without nodding to any broader social goals.”

Said another banker: “Most of us don’t have to kiss ass because, like Trump, we love America and capitalism.”

Right after the election, I wrote an article explaining that MAGAland was in for some sad times as they relearned some unpleasant lessons from 2016. After 2016, the racist white people of MAGAland thought they could run out into the streets and scream racial slurs at people with zero consequences.

That went very poorly for them.

They forgot all of that and they’re already repeating the mistakes of the past. Because MAGAts are very stupid people.

It had not occurred to me that this stupidity would extend to the business world. Aren’t they supposed to be smart? These are people who are making money hand over fist in Biden’s historic economy. But that’s just not good enough, is it? What’s the point of raking in billions if you can’t be a fucking asshole while doing it?

And that’s what we’re talking about here; being a dick for the sake of being a dick. There’s absolutely nothing about buying and selling stocks that requires you to treat women like dirt. You don’t need to be a racist fuckstick. You don’t need to sneer at the handicapped. Money is green and your job does not involve being hostile to marginalized groups. In fact, it’s an impediment to getting work done. Social friction is ALWAYS an impediment.

So why revel in being “free” to toss around slurs and sexually harass women?

Oh, right! Because that’s what it means to be “a manly man.”

Cool. Cool. So…enjoy those lawsuits and I’ll enjoy drinking your little manboy tears as you lose everything because you couldn’t keep your fucking hands off the girl in the mailroom.

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Because here’s the thing, buddy. I know you think Trump being president means all the rules are gone buuuuut that’s not how it works. TRUMP got away with it. You? You’re not Trump. When you sexually harass someone at work, she’s going to sue and if you were so stupid that you openly bragged about what a big dick alpha male you are? You’re going to lose. All of those discrimination laws are still on the books and the Republicans on the Supreme Court haven’t erased them…yet. They may get to that but I doubt it’s going to be in time to save your dumb ass.

“You honor, my client was groped by the defendant who called her a ‘dirty whore’ while she was at work.”

“She was asking for it! She was wearing a skirt and lipstick! Donald Trump is president and I felt liberated!”

“The plaintiff is awarded $30 million and the defendant is to be placed on the sexual offender registry.”

“You can’t cancel me! I’m an alpha male! This is Trump’s America! I have rights!!!!!”

The only part of this that these losers can make a legitimate claim to is making money without connecting to a broader social goal. Yeah, OK, sometimes you just want to do your job without flying a pride flag. Sure. But that’s not the only aspect of “woke” here.

There’s a difference between being pro-LGTBQ and being against discrimination. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I don’t really care about the trans community. But not being personally invested in them doesn’t mean I’ll look away while they’re being persecuted and killed by the worst people in the country.

If your company can’t stand against something morally repulsive, then you are, by default, siding with it. You don’t have to love the Black community to agree that they shouldn’t be executed by the police. Silence is siding with the oppressor. Too woke? Fuck you. You know it’s true and that’s why you don’t want to hear it.

At the same time, “nodding to broader social goals” also means doing no harm, or at least limited harm, yourself. Yeah, making money is fine and all but if you’re doing it in a reckless and irresponsible way that destroys the lives of others? Don’t fucking cry your big sobby tears when the “woke mob” comes for you.

Did you HAVE to dump your toxic waste in the water supply? No.

Did you HAVE to buy up all the new homes in a city and create a housing crisis? No.

Did you HAVE to turn your social media platform into a haven for neo-Nazis? No. No, you fucking did not. You WANTED to do that because you thought it would put money in your pocket. That’s exactly the calculation Mark Zuckerberg is making as he, quite literally, turned off the programming that prevented disinformation from spreading on Facebook:

Behind the scenes, the company was also quietly dismantling a system to prevent the spread of misinformation. When the company announced on Jan. 7 that it would end its fact-checking partnerships, the company also instructed teams responsible for ranking content in the company’s apps to stop penalizing misinformation, according to sources and an internal document obtained by Platformer.

The result is that the sort of viral hoaxes that ran roughshod over the platform during the 2016 US presidential election — “Pope Francis endorses Trump,” Pizzagate, and all the rest — are now just as eligible for free amplification on Facebook, Instagram, and Threads as true stories.

Now, Zuckerberg is so rich that he can’t be canceled and no lawsuit will affect him personally. But this attitude of “we don’t have to care anymore” is apparently pervasive on the right. There’s a feeling that this is the “end of history.” That they’ve won and the Thousand-Year Reich permanent Republican majority is here to stay. Or rather, elections won’t matter anymore after this.

Sure is funny how many fascists and dictators have said that exact same thing in the past. They all died, most of them as bloody stains against a wall. Be a shame if Zuckerberg took the Hitler route in his little bunker in Hawaii…

Anyway, the point I’m making is that these dickwads don’t have to enrich themselves with excessive cruelty and viciously predatory tactics. But they like doing it and they resent being held accountable. That’s all the pushback against “woke” ever was, a mindless scream of rage at even the suggestion of consequences.

Now they think Trump winning frees them from all of that. But I guess being an alpha male means having a goldfish memory. The right made up the phrase “go woke go broke” but that rarely ever plays out in real life. They finally figured out how to make a boycott here and there work but mostly…not so much.

The left, on the other hand? We’re VERY good at boycotts. We’re exceptionally good at making people internet famous. We are the side of “Fuck Around, Find Out.” It’s why the right hates and fears us so much. There’s a cost for being a monster and we’re the ones that hand them the check. Does it always work? No. But it works enough that you’re playing Russian Roulette with your livelihood and reputation.

Is it really worth grabbing the pretty intern’s ass? Is it really worth dropping racial slurs in the office? Is it really worth being an alpha if you lose it all when you can just act like a normal human fucking being and keep getting rich, anyway? Why don’t you fuck around and find out, bro?

There are 292 days until the first Blue Wave and it starts in Virginia, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania.

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