Another Hard Lesson Is Coming For The MAGAts

They never fucking learn.

Democracy did not die in November of 2024 but the assholes have their knives out and it's up to us to keep them from their bloody work. Despair and surrender are what they want. Resistance is what they’ll get. Stay strong. We beat the fascists once and we’ll fucking do it again. 

When Trump “won” in 2016, the racists of the right felt free, at long last, to spew their hate. And spew they did! They practically ran into the streets screeching the N-word at everyone they could find like drunken chihuahuas looking for a couch cushion to hump.¹

It was a joyous time! Fuck your feelings! This was Trump’s America! This was WHITE America! Racism was permissible again and there wasn’t a goddamn thing you libtards and politically correct losers could do about it!

So that lasted about 10 seconds and then people started to become internet famous. And not in a fun way. It was really quite amusing to watch these unhinged racist fucksticks proudly scream their white pride at the top of their lungs, secure in the knowledge that their whiteness would protect them because Donald Trump was president.

But that’s not how this works. That’s not how ANY of this works.

Within days, many of these brave soldiers in the MAGA army discovered that yelling “Go back to Africa!” to a group of kids while someone is recording you is a one-way ticket to the unemployment line. You’d think that after the first dozen or so examples of this, the rest would simmer down. But nope!

It kept happening. Over and over and over again.

Racist assholes, free at last!, would lash out at the cruel and unfair world that had forced them to behave like civilized human beings. But then there would be…consequences!

That really REALLY pissed MAGAland off. They’d won, right? So why couldn’t they act like animals?! It wasn’t FAAAAAAIRRRR!!!!

That didn’t stop the Tiki Torch Nazis from marching in Charlottesville with their faces exposed. Dozens of those dumbshits lost their jobs and saw their lives ruined. It really broke my heart. No, really, it did. It should have been all of them.

But still! After that, the Nazis started to hide their faces because nothing says “white pride” like having to hide your identity to avoid the consequences of announcing how proud you are to a racist piece of shit, amirite?!

That was, however, before Donald Trump was reelected. Watching the right’s renewed joy at being unshackled, it’s pretty obvious that we’re in for a new round of “This is MY ‘Murika so I can do whatever I want!”

We’re already seeing “Your body, my choice” spreading online which I am fully in support of. After all, it’s like a cloud of Axe body spray: It instantly tells a girl to steer clear of the guy wearing it. Every single giggling dudebro proudly yelling “Your body, my choice!” will end up on an incel forum a year or two from now crying that no one will date him. Why oh why can’t he get laid?! He’s such a “nice guy!”

Turns out the “choice” was actually between acting like a decent person and getting laid or acting like a Republican and masturbating, crying and alone, to porn in mommy’s basement.²

But it won’t stop there. The racism is coming because of course it is. The white nationalists are in charge again so racism is “ok” again! Your average Trump voter has the memory span of a lobotomized goldfish anyway so it’s not like they’re going to remember what happened last time.

So they will run out into the streets and scream their hate at Jews and Blacks and Latinos (even though Latinos unwisely put Trump back in power) and Muslims and everyone who isn’t white, male, Christian, etc. Trump will protect them! He’s their God-Emperor!

But, of course, he won’t. Republicans may WANT to make America a fascist state but that’s not going to happen overnight. It won’t happen in four years, either. That’s a whole different problem for the GOP but I’ll get into that in another article.

For now, and for the foreseeable future, there will still be consequences for running out into the street and screaming racial slurs at people. MAGAland may be drunk on power but the rest of us are So. Fucking. Mad. What do you think we’re going to do to the racist scumbags who are so eager to assert their racial superiority? We’re going to burn them to the ground. We’re going to make them famous in the worst way possible.

Real life is not like online life. On Twitter, you can find plenty of fellow Nazis to pat you on the back. In the real world, your law firm is going to cut you loose. Your principal is going to ask for your resignation. You’re going to be fired from Walmart.

Republicans are going to start pressuring large corporations to coddle Nazis but, like I said, that’s going to take time and the courts won’t be too fond of it.

And no one wants to be “That Guy On TikTok Screaming ‘FUCK YOU, N*****!’” The internet is forever and your mileage may vary. God help you, though, if you’re turned into a meme or the subject of an article. I used a picture of a woman at a Nazi rally giving a Nazi salute once and she wrote me to ask me to take it down. She said she was young and didn’t know any better. I thought about it but then said no. Graffiti is a youthful indiscretion. Shoplifting. Underage drinking. We do stupid things when we’re young.

Being a Nazi, though? Sometimes you have to pay the consequences of your actions. Sorry not sorry.

And so it will be for the MAGAts gleefully spewing their toxic hate in public in the coming months. They will feel unconstrained by decency and civility because they are neither decent nor civil. But just like last time, there’s another hard lesson coming for the MAGAts.

Actions still have consequences. You’re free to be a Nazi in the streets. You will not be free of the consequences of being a Nazi in the streets. Your friends and family will know what a piece of shit you are. Your community will know you’re a toxic asshole to be avoided. Say goodbye to your job. If that makes you sad, too fucking bad. Your body, my choice, with a heaping dose of fuck your feelings thrown in.

I look forward to watching so many of MAGA self-destruct. Pure comedy gold and I have plenty of popcorn.

I hope you feel better informed about the world and ready to kick fascists in the teeth to protect it. This newsletter exists because of you, so please consider becoming a supporting subscriber today for only $5 a month or just $50 a year. Thank you for everything!

1. OMG! Is JD Vance part Chihuahua?!

2. But worry not, MAGA men! You DO have other choices! Left hand or right hand! Hell, you can have a Ménage à Trois! So many choices!