It's Official: Donald Trump Is Elon Musk's Dog On a Leash
How long will Musk be able to make his little puppy sit and roll over on command?
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Welp! That answers a burning question I’ve had for the last month: Who is actually going to be the President of the United States? Donald Trump or Elon Musk and yesterday we found out.
It’s definitely not going to be Donald Trump in charge for the foreseeable future.
In case you missed it, Elon Musk decided that he didn’t like the temporary spending bill (called a “continuing resolution” or CR) House Republicans had put together with Democrats to keep the government open for the next three months. It’s not entirely clear what the fuck Musk is doing here.
Did he blow up the bill because:
A. The CR had entirely too many compromises with those EVIL Democrats in it for Musk to accept?
B. Musk’s ketamine-addled brain saw a bunch of tweets making false claims about the bill and actually believed them?
C. Musk is simply playing with his new toys, the Republican Party and his little puppy Donny, to see if he can make them roll over and play dead on command?
Whatever the reason, Musk, being the genius master of all things government, declared that Republicans should shut everything down until January 20th. Once Donald Trump is inaugurated, THEN Republicans can pass a spending bill without any concessions to Democrats at all!
Musk posted to X about the funding bill more than 100 times over the course of the day. He repeatedly called the bill “criminal” and asked his followers to call their representatives, but he also posted memes, including one of him taking a sword to the bill and another referring to the “Kill Bill” films from director Quentin Tarantino. Later in the day, the phrase “Kill Bill” was on X’s list of trending topics in the United States.
Musk also issued a midday warning: “Any member of the House or Senate who votes for this outrageous spending bill deserves to be voted out in 2 years!” And when The Hill newspaper ran a story on its website about the warning, Musk emphasized his point by approvingly posting a screenshot of the headline.
Donald Trump waited almost 13 hours before obeying his master. Then also “decided” that the bill had to be scrapped. Trump, you see, “decided”, all on his own at the very last minute!, that Republicans should focus on the debt ceiling right fucking now while Biden was president. Except no one was talking about the debt ceiling and that wasn’t part of the CR to begin with.
Why didn’t didn’t Little Doggie Donny say anything weeks ago? Not because he needed an excuse to do what his master wanted! No fucking way! This was 100% an original thought and not even slightly to please Master Musk holding Donny’s leash.
But here’s the thing, Trump already learned that government shutdowns over stupid shit are political losers. He threw his temper tantrum back in 2018 and got absolutely fuck-all for it. The government was closed for 35 days and Trump had to cave when the air traffic controllers stopped showing up for work.
Musk probably thinks he can order his pet president to just fire everyone like Reagan did in the 80s. OK, sunshine. Good luck replacing them fast enough to keep air travel running. Musk also thinks having Republicans fully control the government means they’ll get a better bill passed. That’s because Musk is a fucking moron and doesn’t really understand how Congress works.
When the 119th convenes, the House GOP will have a whole whopping one-seat majority for at least three months if not longer. The press has gone to great lengths to not talk about it but Republicans LOST seats in November’s huge sweeping massive GOP “victory.”
That means every single congressional Republican has veto power. If the MAGA caucus forces Speaker Penis Johnson to put in a provision that all women have to wear chastity belts until marriage, any Republican from a purple district who doesn’t feel like instantly losing their seat in 2026 can say, “Yeah, fuck you.” So Speaker Phallus Johnson will have to craft a bill that will make both his far-right extremists happy and will still be accountable to his moderates (such as they are).
Now, Musk has threatened to primary anyone who does not obey him. He has enough blood money to replace every single Republican House member and still have $250 Billion left over to buy infinite lapdances from Donald Trump.1 But can he threaten the Senate the same way? Joni Ernst thinks so but how many others will fold as easily? An awful lot of them are owned by other billionaires who won’t be willing to see their investments get taken over by Elon Musk.
If I was being bankrolled by the Koch empire, I don’t know how worried I would be about obeying Elon Musk.
Democrats, for their part, will almost certainly find a comfortable seat and watch Republicans set themselves on fire. Not their circus, not their clown show. When the press and the public start demanding they Do Something, they should absolutely respond, “Fuck you. This is what you voted for.”
Just to make my position clear: The Democrats should not lift a fucking finger until Republicans come crawling on their knees and beg them for help. And only then should they hand over a list of non-negotiable demands. If President Elon Musk doesn’t like it, President Elon Musk can fix the mess he made. Or President Elon Musk can eat shit.
It’s worth considering how much longer this state of affairs can go on. Donald Trump is a raging narcissist and fired an awful lot of people from his first administration for trying to control him. Musk is currently making him look like his bitch. A weak bitch, at that. There is zero chance Trump will be able to tolerate that kind of insult for long.
Musk has the money but Trump is the president (god help us all) and there’s absolutely nothing Musk can do about that now. What happens when Trump gets tired of being on Musk’s leash? And what happens when Musk’s doggy bites him?
We’re going to find out and none of it is going to be good news for the country. However…having America’s would-be tyrants fighting for control would distract them from burning the country to the ground. So there’s that…
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Good luck getting THAT image out of your head. You’re welcome.
From Adam Kinzinger (emphasis on "zinger")
“President Musk this morning made it clear — with all his vast government experience, which is basically, he became rich on the federal government — that he doesn’t want Republicans to pass this. and seemingly, Vice President Trump kind of backed him up at that point. this is going to be a messy 4 years.”
This is how it's done.
I suspect that #COPRESIDENTMUSK did his best to kill the CR because that's what his buddy Vlad wants -- a non-functioning US government which will stop supporting Ukraine. The air traffic controllers should decide to strictly curtail Musk's access to the public airspace.