How To Prepare For Trump's Tariff-Fueled Economic Crash

Eliminate some of the stress by being prepared.

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I have to apologize for not writing this article two months ago. Like a lot of people, I have not been fully engaged in the reality of the next four years of stupidity facing us. On one level, I know it’s here. On another, I just don’t want to bother with the constant stream of malicious idiocy.

But that’s not really a luxury any of us have. Even the MAGA morons that gleefully voted for their orange god are discovering that he does not give a flying fuck about them as his cruel and pro-billionaire policies utterly crush their lives. So many faces to eat. Not enough leopards.¹

Anyway! Aside from Trump stepping on his most faithful like bugs, one of his top priorities is crashing the economy. Or rather, that’s the top priority of the fascist billionaires with their hands up Trump’s ass, puppeteering him. What? Did you really think Trump actually understands tariffs or how they work? Or that he cares about tax cuts to corporations that do not benefit him personally? Or that he really wants the government to be more “efficient?” Please.

Elon Musk told us before the election what their plans were:

“We have to reduce spending to live within our means,” Musk said. “And, you know, that necessarily involves some temporary hardship, but it will ensure long-term prosperity.”

Many economists agree that Trump’s economic and fiscal proposals could spark an economic calamity, though it is not clear whether they have considered, or given credence, to Musk’s calls for austerity.

Now, it’s true that Trump has the discipline of a toddler and 90% of what he says is bullshit for the media to chase. But his handlers absolutely have a plan to crash the economy. You can’t cut Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid without an “emergency.” Biden’s economy is still roaring and people are starting to notice that, especially since the legacy press has stopped lying about it. Cutting the social safety net now would be suicide, even for a party that is putting all of its eggs in the fascism basket and does not intend to ever allow another free and fair election.

So…what to do? Naturally, set the economy on fire by unnecessarily cutting government spending (where it doesn’t need to be cut)², crippling government services, kicking off multiple trade wars, pushing through another trillion-dollar tax cut for billionaires, and generally just spewing chaos everywhere.

Legitimate political parties do not try to tank the economy. But we have the GOP. They are arsonists and the legacy press refuses to hold them accountable so we have to protect ourselves as best we can. We’ve been doing this dance for the last decade in the Ogre household and you need to learn the steps.

Get cracking on this. Make plans and get that free-floating anxiety out of your head. Being a doomsday prepper is not the worst thing in the world. It gives you some control over things normally outside of your control. This is not the illusion of control. These are things you can do to safeguard yourself from the damage the people holding Trump’s leash are planning to inflict on all of us.

I’ve written a couple of versions of this article in the past but those are behind a paywall so I’m writing this one for you now.

Ready? Ok, here we go:

Eliminate debt

Pay down your credit cards. Try to nuke whatever student loans you have. Consolidate them if you have to. Anything to make your payments smaller, more manageable, or just gone. Car loans, medical debt, old Blockbuster accounts. Find it, and get rid of it. I know saying it is easier than doing it but if you have to live a shitty spartan existence for a while to get your neck out from under that axe? It’s worth the hassle.

Take care of your shit now

Have you been putting off a surgery? Stop doing that. Does your back hurt and you’ve been ignoring it? Stop doing that. Skipped the dentist for the last decade? Stop. Doing. That.

This is not just about keeping you and your family healthy (although that’s a happy side effect). This is about taking care of shit now while you have the resources to do it. Ask anyone with a medical condition and no coverage what it’s like to not have access to healthcare when you need it.

The absolute LAST thing you want is to be low on money or in between jobs or even temporarily without insurance and then have a major medical issue. A crown on a broken tooth will run you a cool $1000 - $3000 without insurance. You want to walk around with a broken tooth because you didn’t go to the dentist when you had the chance? You really do not.

Take care of any medical issues you have as soon as possible. Even minor ones can become serious if you ignore them.

Don’t forget your pets. Make sure they have their shots. No one wants to lose a beloved companion because Republicans fucked up your finances and you couldn’t afford the medicine Mr. Fuzzypants needs.

Did you know the Opinionated Ogre has a weekly podcast? It’s true! New episodes every Thursday! Catch the latest episode here:

The same goes for your car or your house. Fix anything that needs to be fixed. You’ve been ignoring that creaking sound in your car for months. Turns out you need a new axle and you just lost your job. But you need your car to get a new job. The stories of people being trapped in this spiral of doom are infinite. Don’t add to them.

Collection agencies

They can fuck all the way off. Collection agencies are parasites. They cannot force you to pay them. They’re not going to sue unless you owe a phenomenal amount of money. I’m not even sure they do it then. Pay them when you take care of all your other shit. They’re last on the list.

Preppin!

Trump is going to start slapping tariffs on anyone and everyone because he thinks it makes him look tough. His owners know that it makes him look stupid but will blow up the economy, which is exactly what they want. That means shit is going to get more expensive. What, exactly, depends on where Trump’s stupid little brain decides to put tariffs.

If you have a big purchase coming up, now would be a good time to do it. A car. A computer. Large kitchen appliances. Furniture. Take care of that sooner than later because even if Trump doesn’t slap a tariff on a country that impacts the price of your specific thing, you can bet money that greedy-ass corporations are going to fuck us all with greedflation again.

If you don’t have a large purchase ahead of you, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to stock up on staples in case Trump triggers a run of panic buying. Buy a case of toilet paper and put it someplace out of the way. Buy dry and canned goods and store them in closed plastic bins. That stuff lasts for at least a year, longer if you’re not super picky about your crackers being a little stale but still perfectly safe to eat.

Don’t forget your pets! Pet food, litter, whatever your pet goes through in a month, have a few months’ worth of it on hand. just in case.

Money

If you thought the previous stuff was tough, yeah… about that. If you really want to give yourself some peace of mind, move heaven and earth to put aside two months of rent/mortgage payments. Throw it in a CD with no penalty for early withdrawal (they exist! We have one!) and just let it sit there collecting a pitiful amount of interest. It’s more than you’ll get in your savings account and there’s zero chance of you dipping into it on a whim. “We’ll pay it back next month!” are the words that see your savings vanish and then you have jackshit in an emergency.

If you’re being REALLY ambitious, put two months of grocery money in there, too. Don’t forget to add more if your rent goes up.

This is a really tough one. On the plus side, you don’t have to do it all at once. It took us over a year to put together this money while still paying off debt and not living like monks. Even if you can only put aside half of one month and slowly add to it, that builds up quicker than you think. Having a few months of buffer in case the worst happens is worth its weight in gold.

You should also figure out how much two months of utilities cost and put that away, as well. They won’t be cut off immediately but the last thing you want is to start building a mountain of debt. That kind of thing snowballs very easily. Give yourself breathing room.

And if you manage to get the money in there, keep adding to it. If you never end up using it, great! You can splurge in your old age or leave a really nice gift to your grandkids. In the meantime, you have a shield against Republican cruelty.

Prepping is for normal people, not just doomsday weirdos

Anything can be taken to an extreme, of course. Having five year’s worth of dried goods is going over the top. Having enough dried and canned goods to last a few months is not. And it’s NEVER a bad idea to have money put aside for an emergency.

This is not a comprehensive list but it’s enough to get you started (and how). If I threw it all at you at once, it would be overwhelming and you’d be much less likely to follow through on any of it. But you should start as soon as possible. Even if it’s just a few hundred here and there, you’ll have enough to get through a rough patch quicker than you think. And once you have that safety net, it eases a huge amount of anxiety, leaving you to focus on other issues that need to be addressed, like the fact fascists are trying to destroy the country. That is, after all, why they want to burn the economy to the ground. Desperate people are people who cannot fight back.

Follow this initial guide, get your money in order, and then they can’t distract you from the real fight.

There are 280 days until the first Blue Wave and it starts in Virginia, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania.

This is it. This is Germany in the 1930s and what you do will be recorded in the history books. Your children and grandchildren will look back and ask what you did. Will you be able to look them in the face?

Fascism thrives on fear. It wilts under scrutiny. Never look away. Never stop fighting. Hold them accountable and make them pay for every cruel thing they do. It’s the only way we get through this. Support this newsletter for just $5 a month or $50 a year.

1. Translation for Republicans: Fuck your feelings.

2. You’ll note that defense will not see a penny cut despite a massively bloated budget.