Cenk Uygur Is A Gutter Clown Sucking Up To Fascists
The alt-left is finally putting on the red hat, just like I always knew they would.
Democracy did not die in November of 2024 but the assholes have their knives out and it's up to us to keep them from their bloody work. Despair and surrender are what they want. Resistance is what they’ll get. Stay strong. We beat the fascists once and we’ll fucking do it again.
The now wildly misnamed Black Friday Sale continues for the holidays! Save 50% off an annual subscription today!
Shannon and I talked about this on last week’s podcast and I really did not have the time to sit down over the holidays to capture my thoughts in print. But Thanksgiving is over and Cenk Uygur is still a piece of shit so here we go.
Once upon a time, I watched Uygur and The Young Turks because they were doing something I was not seeing enough of on the left: Expressing anger. Loudly.1 But that didn’t last long because I quickly noticed most of their anger was reserved for Democrats or “both sides.” Not a lot of criticism directed at just Republicans regardless of what the GOP did.
This was long before I was aware of bothsiderism or what the alt-left was. I didn’t, at the time, understand what they were doing or why. Regardless, it still left a bad taste in my mouth and I stopped watching after a couple of months.
Time passed and the 2016 election came and with it, the rise of the Bernie Bros. After watching the rise and fall of the Firebaggers2 a few years earlier, it didn’t take me nearly as long to figure out who and what these assholes were. They surely were not progressives and Cenk Uygur was among the loudest of the douchebags working to elect Trump.
I’ve been saying FOR FUCKING YEARS that the alt-left was going to put on the red hat. I’ve gotten so much shit for it. I’ve been told there’s no such thing as the alt-left. That I’m attacking our own side for no reason. That I’M the fucking Republican bla bla fucking bla.
Well, guess what motherfuckers? Here’s Cenk Uygur putting on the red fucking hat. Just like I fucking said he would:
I want to be crystal clear here: When Cenk Uygur says, “The Establishment,” he’s talking about literally anyone who disagrees with him who isn’t a Republican. Republicans are not the establishment despite having a massive media platform to brainwash tens of millions of imbeciles and scumbags into believing that a couple of dozen trans girls in sports3 are going to ruin it for the other hundreds of thousands of other girls who play. And also maybe rape them in the locker room?
Republicans are not the establishment despite having the richest dickbag in the world buy one of the most influential social media sites in the world and weaponize it. Who’s laughing now, though, dipshit? So many liberals have left Shitter for Bluesky, engagement over there is plummeting. Turns out that with no one to scream hate speech at, Nazi lives are as meaningless as I’ve always assumed.
Why Is The Legacy Press Mad About Bluesky?
Democracy did not die in November of 2024 but the assholes have their knives out and it's up to us to keep them from their bloody work. Despair and surrender are what they want. Resistance is what they’ll get. Stay strong. We beat the fascists once and we’ll fucking do it again.
Republicans are not the establishment despite having dozens of billionaires throw gobs of money at another billionaire to put him back in power so he can give tax cuts to all the billionaires.
No no no no…that’s not the establishment. You’re the establishment. I’M the fucking establishment. Literally. Cenk fucking Uygur called me “the establishment” because I wrote an unflattering but 100% accurate article about him back in 2017. He foamed at the mouth for 16 minutes on his propaganda show over it. It was pretty fucking funny watching the manbaby have a temper tantrum without actually addressing the substance of what I said.
But let’s take a look at Cenk Uygur, Mr. Uncompromising Progressive. He’s allllll about purity tests for Democrats. Fail just one and you are his sworn enemy forever! Hillary, of course, was a former Goldwater Girl and everyone knows that former Republicans can never be trusted.
Except, of course, Cenk Uygur who is, himself, a former Republican. But you shut your fucking mouth about that, you establishment shill!
Cenk has also spent the last year screaming “Genocide!” over the war in Gaza. Why, you just can’t work with a guy like Joe Biden who is in any way associated with such terrible things! One’s moral purity must take priority over all other considerations!
Never mind that Biden has been the most-pro-labor president in over half a century, something Uygur pretends to care about. Never mind that Biden passed the largest climate bill in all of human history among every country on the planet, something else Uygur pretends to care about. Never mind that Biden has been aggressively taking on monopolies, something else Uygur claims to care about. The list goes on for a very long time but you get the idea.
Did you know the Opinionated Ogre has a weekly podcast? It’s true! New episodes every Wednesday! Catch the latest episode here:
Joe Biden has been a progressive wet dream but Cenk Uygur said, “Fuck that shit!” because of Gaza. Moral purity demands he spurn Biden!
But it’s funny, though. Uygur doesn’t seem to have any problem compromising to get what he wants when it comes to Donald Trump and his regime of literal fascists:
Yeah, why haven’t the Democrats asked Cenk fucking Uygur, a guy who doesn’t know a fucking thing about the military, what he would cut from the Pentagon’s budget? I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, Dems! How stupid ARE you?!
It’s important to note that populism is not a substitute for actually knowing things. And fake populism is even LESS of a substitute. But Cenk’s ego is massive and he’s a fucking liar so of course he’s comfortable with the fascists.
So, to be clear: Gaza was a red line that Cenk could never EVER cross to work with a Democrat to achieve 90% of everything he’s ever pretended to care about.
But Cenk is tripping over himself to lick the boots of the literal Nazis preparing to open actual concentration camps in the United States. And also promising to use the military to shoot protesters. And end elections. And to vastly increase pollution. And end marriage equality. And destroy public education. And make unions illegal. And and and…
But Cenk Uygur is “hopeful” because something something “the establishment has been defeated.”
Just like that, Uygur no longer cares “who does it as long as it gets done.” Wow. Isn’t that fucking convenient for Mr. Moral Perfection? He went from purity to pragmatic in a heartbeat! Almost like that was the plan all along!
Oh, and Trump has no intentions of stopping the fighting in Gaza and will 100% give Netnayahu all the weapons he wants to kill as many Palestinians as possible.
Where will Uygur’s precious fucking morality be then? My guess? Where it’s always been: In a box under his desk. He keeps it there, only to be pulled out and flashed around when there’s a Democrat in the room. Otherwise, Uygur HAS no fucking morals. He’s a Republican operative and has been for a very long time. This is the story of the entire alt-left, may they all die slow and painful deaths from the polluted air and food they champion.
No, really, fuck the alt-left
Once I understood that the alt-left is motivated by the exact same grievances and bigotry as the right, it became absolute child’s play to predict how they would react. I knew in 2017 that the alt-left would lose their shit when Democrats swept the midterms and go all out to try to keep Trump in office in 2020. Which is exactly what they did.
I knew a year after she was elected, ostensibly as a far-left progressive, that the alt-left would turn on AOC. You see, she didn’t spend all of her time attacking the party and centering white men. She actually works on moving the party left and doing the things progressives are supposed to do. But that’s not what the alt-left wants so she’s become one of the most hated women in Congress.
Notice that she’s also one of the most hated women in Congress on the right. Isn’t that a funny coincidence? In fact, if you compare the top ten list of people the alt-left and the right hate the most, you’ll find the lists almost identical. A lot of women and women of color on that list. Weird…almost like they hate the same things, women, minorities, for the same reasons…
But if you really want to see the alt-left slip off its progressive mask and put on the red hat, just look at how they rallied around Matt Gaetz when he was still in the running to be AG:
Just a gentle reminder: Matt Gaetz is a credibly accused pedophile. He paid to have sex with an underage girl. There are literal receipts. There’s almost certainly video. Matt Gaetz is a sleazy creep. But, you know, compromises have to be made for the greater good, right?
This is coming from people who literally tell their audience to never compromise with Democrats because Democrats are all corrupt and evil. But not Matt Gaetz the kiddie fucker, right? That moral compass sure does swing around a lot on the alt-left.
So, what’s changed? The alt-left has always been “anti-anti-Trump” but they weren’t so gung-ho to work with the incoming regime in 2016. They weren’t making the case that Trump would be better in 2020, either. Just that “something something Biden bad.”
Uygur himself gives the answer: They think they’ve won. They think this is the end of American democracy and there isn’t going to be another Democratic president. If you’ve been acting as a secret4 fifth column and you think your side has won, you don’t need to hide anymore. What’s the point?
The alt-left has been drifting to the right for years, slowly leading their audience towards right-wing extremism and loathing for liberalism and democracy. Cenk is a gutter clown promising magical populism down in the sewer. Just come grab the pretty red hat, Georgie! We all float down here! Now? It’s time to take the plunge! Now we can achieve our populist vision of maintaining white supremacy, errrr…making America great again!
And when the economy collapses and millions of lives are destroyed, Cenk and the rest of his neo-fascist shills will simply blame…Democrats. Or The Jews. Or immigrants. Anyone but the Republicans they so eagerly supported.
This is where they were always heading and this is what they were always going to do. Cenk Uygur has always been a Republican piece of shit. He built a “progressive” network, took Russian money (he was on RT for a long while) to push his anti-Democratic propaganda. Then Republican money to keep doing it. Now he’s a toady for Trump and Musk, spitting on everything actual progressives stand for.
Here’s the important thing: When we drive the GOP out of power again, Uygur and his alt-left scumbag buddies will try to reclaim their mantle as the “real” progressive left. But that ship has sailed. We cannot let these rat fucks continue to poison the national conversation with their bullshit fake-ass progressive schtick.
They’re coming out of the fascist closet and they do not get to go back in. Ever. They want to wallow in the victory of fascism? Cool. Enjoy that stench, motherfuckers. It’s never coming off.
And Cenk? You’re a fucking sellout loser. You’ve always been a loser and you’ll always BE a loser. Money doesn’t make you a better person. A large audience doesn’t make you a better person. Having integrity does. Having morals does. Having a fucking soul does. You have none of these things.
You’re a union-busting fraud who got down on your knees and gave an oligarch a blow job in public after years of crying about how much you hate oligarchs. If you had the ability to feel shame, you’d never show your face in public again. But you’re a Republican and shame is a foreign concept to you.
Enjoy your red hat while you bend over for Elon, you miserable wanker.
There are 335 days until the first Blue Wave and it starts in Virginia, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania.
I hope you feel better informed about the world and ready to kick fascists in the teeth to protect it. This newsletter exists because of you, so please consider becoming a supporting subscriber today for only $5 a month or just $50 a year. Thank you for everything!
Why pay $50 when you can just $25 during the Opinionated Ogre Holiday sale?!
You may or may not have noticed this is something I like to do.
The alt-left takes many forms. In 2000, it was Ralph Nader. In 2009, it was Jane Hamsher and the firebaggers. In 2016, the Bernie Bros. In 2024, it was the 100% totally organic pro-Gaza movement that has all but disappeared.
Are there even THAT many playing?
“Secret” in the sense that no one wanted to fucking admit that the alt-left has been a ratfucking operation for decades.
Nailed it. As someone who supported Bernie in 2016 and then saw the absolute meltdown when Hillary was the candidate, I realized that the alt-left is no better than MAGA. They don’t believe in compromise. They only believe in getting what they want and moving goalposts accordingly. I’ve noticed too how much less Gaza sloganeering there’s been, too. Funny… except not even remotely funny because Gaza will most assuredly be wiped off the face of the earth. Good job, so-called Progressives!
For a long time, I followed Michael Moore because, you know, he was funny and he said some good things. But it was Gaza Gaza Gaza all the time, and he was furious that Kamala Harris didn’t make a bigger deal out of it when she was running for president. Well, it’s very interesting because Biden brokerd a cease-fire in Lebanon and has been working, along with Kamala, to get a two state solution in Israel. And I waited for Michael Moore to say something. And I waited. And I waited. And I finally realized he likes to yell, but he doesn’t like to give credit for anything good that happens. Another idol has crashed to the ground. And I feel a lot healthier.