Comedy Gold! Panicked Trump Is Campaigning On His "Achievements" 🤣🤣

"Nobody destroys an economy like I do! Vote for me!" is not a winning messgae.

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The average price of gas across the nation is $4.50. The price of groceries just rose faster than at any point in the last four years. Millions are losing their healthcare. Rent and housing are getting more expensive. Inflation is rising faster than wages. The economy is coming apart at the seams, and everyone knows Donald Trump and his party are to blame.

Naturally, they’re going to barnstorm the country and campaign on all of the amazing ways they’ve fucked helped the American people:

Trump and his top officials are fanning out across the U.S. this week for events aimed at touting his domestic achievements — a notable pivot after major foreign policy matters in Iran, China, Cuba, Venezuela and elsewhere have dominated headlines for months.

Back in 2017, Republicans pushed through the largest tax cut in American history, and it went overwhelmingly to billionaires and corporations. They tried to campaign on this magnificent accomplishment for the midterms because Republicans live in a hermetically sealed propaganda bubble. They were absolutely shocked to discover the public, including their own voters, was intensely hostile towards tax cuts for the rich when the economy was sluggish.¹

The economy right now is not sluggish; it is being actively murdered by a regime whose goal is to turn America into a piggy bank for the Epstein Class and their enablers.

These motherfuckers just stole almost $2 billion of OUR money to use as bribes, and they’re going to steal soooo much more before we drag them into the streets and hang them for crimes against humanity.² This is what EVERY dictator has done throughout history: They loot the country and leave behind a smoking husk when they’re done. Fuck that and fuck these cheap little criminals. They haven’t done a goddman thing for the American people.

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Here’s the thing…the regime is going to run around the country and lie through its fucking teeth. That’s the strategy.

“This is the strongest economy in American history!” - Reality: We’ve been flirting with stagflation for the first time in half a century.

“We have a manufacturing revolution!” Reality: We’re shedding manufacturing jobs.

“We’ll have affordable healthcare in two weeks!” Reality: Prices have risen sharply as millions dropped their coverage. Which is exactly what Republicans wanted when they passed their “Big Beautiful Bill” last year.

“I will make groceries cheaper!” Reality: Between the oil shock and fertilizer shock, groceries are only going to get more expensive throughout the rest of the year.

Trump and his bootlicking toadies are going to promise everyone puppies and ice cream and unicorns and it’s all going to happen right after the midterms! Just you wait and see! It’s going to be amazing. An economy like you wouldn’t believe!

Now, the MAGA cult will believe because Trump could feed them a pile of his used diapers, tell them it’s premium Trump Steaks™, and they would brag to their friends about how they ate some of the finest steaks ever made. Is that poop dribbling down your chin? And why does your breath smell like shit, Cletus? Shaddup, Elroy! Fake news!

But the rest of the country? Ain’t no one going to believe a goddamn word coming out of the regime’s mouth. Even with the legacy press carrying water all day long, the lies will just be too ridiculous to work.

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By the summer, we will be in the middle of Trump’s oil shock, and the economy will spiral out of control. As I’ve said too many times to count, a competent and well-intentioned administration would struggle to keep things from falling apart. The regime is maliciously incompetent and will not only be incapable of preventing an economic meltdown, they will welcome it.

It’s important to remember, autocrats see economic distress as an excuse to grant themselves “emergency powers.” EVERY emergency is another excuse to grab more power. The economy is in jeopardy, we’re at war, there’s civil unrest, why, how can we trust the results of the midterm elections, y’all?!

That’s not going to work, but they’re definitely thinking they can try it.

Regardless, the regime, at the moment, thinks it can boost its chances in the midterms by bragging about all of its “accomplishments.” Which tells us they are either completely detached from reality or supremely confident in their ability to bullshit the public. Or both.

A third option is that they really do not understand just how bad the economy is about to get and just how intense the public’s anger will be. Or that it will be entirely directed at the people in charge, aka, Republicans. I would bet a shiny nickel on Option #3. These are the same people who thought they could topple Iran in a few weeks and still can’t figure out why the Strait of Hormuz is closed. Long-term thinking and understanding more complex ideas than “Does it look good on TV?” is really hard for them.³

So here’s what I think is going to happen: Trump and his flying monkeys will race around the country for a few weeks, maybe a month, making shit up the entire time. They’ll handpick their audiences so they can pretend they’re speaking to crowds of “average Americans” who just so happen to all love Trump. The press will pretend these are real events and try really hard to push a narrative that everything is awesome.

But then the oil shock will hit, and everything will not be awesome. The regime will hold its breath and stamp its feet, but the economy will contract hard and fast. Trump’s popularity, already at historic lows, will erode even further.

The Republican Party will then pivot to the same closing message it always pivots to when it is losing: Naked racism and bigotry. We will see a massive surge in Islamophobic rhetoric in late Summer, early Fall. Trump will suddenly rediscover how much he vocally hates immigrants from predominantly Black countries. The regime will almost certainly avoid antagonizing the Latino community any further, but any other kind of immigrant? It will be open season on them. Expect the regime to cancel as many TPS orders as it can to pander to its base of white nationalist trash.

The attacks on the Trans community will intensify, and don’t be surprised if the regime begins its war on the rest of the LGB_Q community. They’re going to be desperate to distract from their failures on both the domestic and international stage.

If (when) this happens, we have to be ready to stand in front of the vulnerable and say, “Not today, you fascist Nazi fucks!” and then kick them in the teeth so hard in November, even the most weak-kneed Democrats know that it’s time to go for the throat of the regime. We have to stand for more than just protecting our money. We have to stand for protecting each other, and the time is coming to prove we are who we say we are: The party of all the people, not just the ones we’re comfortable with. Otherwise, we’re no better than the fascist fucks trying to destroy our country.

I hope you feel better informed about the world and ready to kick fascists in the teeth to protect it. This newsletter exists because of you, so please consider becoming a supporting subscriber today for only $5 a month or just $50 a year (a 17% discount!). Thank you for everything!

There are 167 days until the most important midterm election in American history. The regime is afraid, and they should be. We are legion, and they are weak. Stay strong. You are never alone.

1. They probably wouldn’t have loved it if times were good, but they wouldn’t have metaphorically been throwing rotten fruit at the stage.

2. After a trial, of course.

3. Some of them, like Scott Bessent and Russell Vought, are smart enough, but Trump lets them do their job destroying the country, and doesn’t pay attention to them on other issues.